What is Love?

 



Vicious words drift away from their meanings

 And the sun melts the chill from our lives 

Helping us all to remember what we came here for

 This is love This is la la la la love 

This is love This is la la la la love        

                            ~ George Harrison. Cloud Nine.

Since it is Valentine's Day, it seems a good time to talk about LOVE. We actually do talk about it all the time. We love "this" and love "that", including everything from favorite people, chocolate lava cake, children, pets, to the feelings we get from a wide variety of experiences. We want it, and we need it. Many of us have created elaborate mechanisms and defenses just to insure we will get some. It is easy to say we need to love more and better, fully and unconditionally - but how? What do we do with all those pesky feelings of annoyance, anger, jealousy, blame and judgment? Are they not love? Is the "love mask" we put on to hide our true not-so-loving-feelings, love? Can we love ourselves in a realistic, compassionate, non-self-centered way?

Love comes in two distinct and unique versions. First is "I-Thou" love. It is the Astral level of the Human Energy Field, heart centered, and object oriented. It can be easily felt and just as easily broken. It needs something outside of us to connect to. We say things like "my heart goes out to you" as a way to describe how much we care. Being "in love" is pleasurable, and it fills us with joy, a sense of belonging, and a full feeling in our physical hearts. When the initial intensity fades, love becomes a choice we make that helps us tenderly connect with others in a meaningful way. If done well, it also leaves us open and vulnerable. Most of us have had our hearts broken at least once. People we have loved and trusted may have let us down. Our work, at this level of "I-Thou" object attached love, is to continually work at deciding, moment to moment, how we want to love. This is self work that attracts us to the perfect people and experiences that will catalyze our growth, beautifully and painfully. It's messy, it's human and if you are alive you probably know something about it. We are born with an open heart and after being banged around by life, the goal is to leave it with an open heart.

What I call BIG Love, on the other hand, is not attached to anything outside of ourselves. It is our natural state of being. Energetically it is the Celestial Level of the human energy field accessed through the Third Eye chakra and connects us to our highest level of spiritual awareness. This state exists independently of what is going on around us, to us, or in our hearts. We may feel Big LOVE when we are in the presence of an illuminated being, guru, saint or teacher. When Sufi's dance they are connected to this realm. When we have a spiritual awakening, or a near death experience, we can feel Big LOVE and gain awareness of love as our true nature. The Dalai Lama is the epitome of big LOVE. Being in the presence of Baba Neem Karoli Maharaj, a Hindu guru, filled his followers with Big LOVE and taught a simple message: Love Everyone. In little love that would be an impossible challenge. We love a few, we like some others and there are those that really rub us the wrong way. But, when you start thinking in terms of BIG LOVE, this becomes a possibility, because it is not dependent on anything outside of us. The presence of this potent state of LOVE changes everything, beginning within ourselves. It puts all the heart centered issues, the power struggles, squabbles and defenses, out of mind. It is grace.

How can we connect to Big LOVE? I wish I had a formula to give you. I do know this, it is always there, we are just not aware of it most days. We may get glimpses now and then, to savor and recall. Tools that can help us remember our true nature may include meditation, chanting, and spiritual practices of all sorts. Personal process work help us to become clearer in our heart centered presence, which always helps. Neither love is better, or worse, both are necessary for growth and knowing who we are.

So, on this Valentine's Day let us remember who we really are, and whether we have a sweetheart, flowers and chocolate or not, know that in the deepest part of our being we are a powerful force, of and for love. May you be blessed with grace and love.
















Comments

  1. BIG LOVE in the presence of illuminated beings makes me desirous of living in that state all the time. We humans are so close to that ascended state.

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