Hillary Oat Healing

“Anxiety is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.”                                                                             —Arthur Somers Roche Anxiety is so uncomfortable. It can range from a mild discomfort to a full blown panic attack. I do not know many people who are not feeling a level of anxiety these days. Anxiety is one of those things that sets us on edge, like a tightly coiled spring in the Jack-in-the box. We never know which turn of the crank is going to cause our heart to pound, and thoughts to be consumed with unmentionable horrors. The other day USPS informed delivery showed a letter from the IRS was coming. Because my spring was already pretty tightly wound it was the last turn of the crank that sent me into overwhelming anxiety. When I did finally receive the letter it was nothing. I was so relieved I dissolved into tears. We all have some degree of anxiety about big things an

    No one gets more upset than a narcissist accused of something they definitely did. Amen. There is a a big difference between being held accountable for a mistake and blame shifting. When a healthy person steps on our toes and we say "ouch", they are able and willing to apologize for the misstep. When a narcissist steps on our toes they will tell us it is our fault for putting toes under their foot. That is blame shifting. Blame is something all humans do from time to time. When I was a kid I remember getting into the "I did not", "You did too" shouting match a few times. But as we grow and mature, most of us develop enough inner strength and maturity to survive accountability. It can be uncomfortable, but the results are worth it. Empathy enables us to see how what we did impacted the other person. We learn that when we acknowledge a mistake we can grow from it and in so doing our relationships deepen, trust strengthens and our hearts open. Blame can